You Are No Longer “Cool” When

You find yourself listening to talk radio.

You daughter says she got pierced and you look at her ears.

The pattern on your shorts and couch match.

You fondly remember your powder blue leisure suit.

You think Tragically Hip is when a middle-aged man gets a new sports car, hair piece and a 20 year old girlfriend.

You criticize the kids of today for their satanic suicide-inducing music, forgetting that you rocked to Alice Cooper and Black Sabbath.

You call the police on a noisy party next door instead of grabbing beer and joining it.

You turn down free tickets to a rock concert because you have to work the next day.

When grass is something that you cut, not cultivate.

When jogging is something you do to your memory.

Getting a little action means your prune juice is working.

All the cars behind you flash their headlights.

You remember the “Rolling Stones” as a rock group not a corporation.

You bought your first car for the same price you paid for your son’s new running shoes.

You actually ASK for your father’s advice.

You don’t know how to operate a fax machine.

When someone mentions SURFING you picture waves and a surf board.

Funny Jokes:

1. Symptom Fault Action
2. New drink
3. Saint Patrick’s Day Bar Troubleshooting
4. The guide to wife translations
5. The guide to wife translations
6. Truck Stopper
7. Redneck Bonanza!
8. Why Do I Always Need A Title?
9. Guide to wife translations
10. Dedicated geologists
11. Dedicated geologists
12. Longer Life
13. A new car from AOL
14. Did you understand me?
15. Signs and notices 17

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