“Filthy Stinking Rich… Well, Two Out of Three Ain’t Bad”

“I Used Up All My Sick Days… So I Called In Dead”

“Husband and Cat Lost… Reward for Cat”

“Happiness Is Seeing Your Mother-in-Law on a Milk Carton”

“Just Give Me Chocolate and Nobody Gets Hurt”

“Learn from Your Parents’ Mistakes… Use Birth Control”

“If God Had Wanted Me to Touch My Toes, He Would Have Put Them on My Knees”

“If You Can Read This…Kiss A Teecher”

“Wrinkled Was Not One of the Things I Wanted to Be When I Grew Up”

“If You Remember the ’60s, You Weren’t Really There”

“Procrastinate Now”

“Rehab Is for Quitters”

(Across a drawing of a skeleton) “Waiting for the Perfect Man”

“My Husband and I Married for Better or Worse…
…. He Couldn’t do Better and I Couldn’t Do Worse”

“The More I Learn About Women, the More I Love My Harley”

Funny Jokes:

1. Married 4 times and stilla virgin!!?
2. Ten Husbands, Still A Virgin
3. Now that I’m older…
4. MARRIED TO A LAWYER
5. standing in it
6. Still A Virgin
7. White Gown?
8. Lines
9. standing in it
10. Respectfully Cheating
11. Just reading
12. Business one-liners 105
13. On Marriage
14. brown pants
15. brown pants

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