A man walks into a bar and orders a pint of beer. He looks around, admiring the room and he soon notices that there are big lumps of meat hanging on the ceiling. He then says to the bartender, “Why have you got all this meat hanging around?”.

The barman says, ‘It’s a little bet that we are running. If you can jump up and grab a bit of meat in your mouth then you can have all of your drinks bought for you. If you fail then you have to buy everyone else in the bar their drinks for them. Are you going to have a try at it”. The man shakes his head and says to the bartender, “No, the stakes are to high.” (stakes/steaks)

A man walks into a bar and orders, Bar Jokes, clean bar jokes, funny bar jokes, short bar jokes

A blond guy with two badly burned ears went to the emergency room for medical treatment. “What happened?” asked the doctor.

“Well, my wife was ironing while I was watching the ballgame on TV,” began the man. “She put the hot iron near the telephone, and when the phone rang, I answered the iron.”

The doctor nodded. “But what happened to the other ear?”

“Well, no sooner had I hung up,” said the blond man, “when the same guy called back again.”

Bar Jokes, Burned Ears, clean bar jokes, funny bar jokes

A drunken man gets on the bus late one night, staggers up the aisle, and sits next to an elderly woman. She looks the man up and down and says, “I’ve got news for you – You’re going straight to hell!”

The man jumps up out of his seat and shouts, “Good heavens, I’m on the wrong bus!”

Bar Jokes, clean bar jokes, funny bar jokes, short bar jokes