A young blonde woman in New York was extremely depressed. She was so dumb that no one would hire her. She finally decided to end her life by throwing herself into the ocean. She went down to the docks and was about to leap into the frigid water when a handsome young sailor saw her tottering on the edge of the pier, crying.

He took pity on her and said, “Look, you’ve got a lot to live for. I’m off to Europe in the morning and, if you like, I can stow you away on my ship. I’ll take good care of you and bring you food every day.” Moving closer, he slipped his arm round her shoulder and added, “I’ll keep you happy, and you’ll keep me happy. Okay?”

The girl was not so dumb that she didn’t know what he meant, so she said “Yes”. After all, what did she have to lose? Maybe a fresh start in Europe would give her life new meaning. That night, the sailor sneaked her aboard and hid her in a lifeboat, on an unlighted portion of the deck, near a bathroom where she could go without being seen.

From then on, every night he brought her three sandwiches and a piece of fruit and they made passionate love until dawn. Three weeks later, during a routine inspection, she was discovered by the captain. “What are you doing here?” the captain asked. “I have an arrangement with one of the sailors,” she explained. “I get food and a trip to Europe, and he’s screwing me.”

“He sure is, lady,” the captain said. “This is the Staten Island Ferry.”

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A stud met two gorgeous blondes sitting side by side at a bar. They turned out to be Siamese twins joined at the hip, and they eagerly went to his apartment. After screwing the first one, he moved on to the second. The first sister noticed a case in the corner of the room.

“Is that a trombone?” she asked, “I was in the high school band, and would love to play your trombone.”

The guy shrugged, fetched her the instrument and went back to the second sister. As he humped, the first twin played loud, exuberant marches. A few weeks later, the twins were walking past his apartment building and the first one said, “Let’s stop in and see him.”

The other sister hesitated and asked, “Gee, do you think he’ll remember us?”

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Two blonde guys were working for the city works department. One would dig a hole and the other would follow behind him and fill the hole in.

They worked up one side of the street, then down the other, then moved on to the next street, working furiously all day without rest, one guy digging a hole, the other guy filling it in again. An onlooker was amazed at their hard work, but couldn’t understand what they were doing. So he asked the hole digger, “I’m impressed by the effort you two are putting into your work, but I don’t get it — why do you dig a hole, only to have your partner follow behind and fill it up again?”

The hole digger wiped his brow and sighed, “Well, I suppose it probably looks odd because we’re normally a three-man team. But today the guy who plants the trees called in sick.”

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