Funny Jokes | Clean, Funny, One Liner & Short Jokes

Blonde Jokes, Joke of the Day

Casino Blond

Two bored casino dealers are standing by the craps table when a blond walks in and wants to bet $10,000 on a single roll of the dice. She tells them, “I hope you don’t mind, but I feel much luckier when completely nude”. So she takes off everything but her necklace and throws the dice saying, “Come on, come on momma needs a new pair of clothes”. She starts yelling, “Yes, Yes, I won, I won!!!” She starts jumping up and down and hugs the two dealers. She then picks up her clothes and money and leaves. The two dealers stand there dumbfounded for a while. Then one dealer says, “What did she roll anyway?” The other says, “I don’t know I thought you were watching”

The moral – not all blonds are dumb.

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Q: Why did the blonde have tire tread marks on her back?
A: From crawling across the street when the sign said “DON’T WALK”.

Q: Why did the blonde keep a coat hanger in her back seat?
A: In case she locks the keys in her car.

Q: Why did the blonde tip-toe past the medicine cabinet?
A: So she wouldn’t wake up the sleeping pills.

Q: Why did God create blondes?
A: Because sheep can’t bring beer from the fridge.
Q: Why did God create brunettes?
A: Neither could the blondes.

Q: Why did the blonde wear condoms on her ears?
A: So she wouldn’t get Hearing Aides.

Q: Why did the blonde drive into the ditch?
A: To turn the blinker off.

Q: Why did the blonde try and steal a police car?
A: She saw “911″ on the back and thought it was a Porsche.

Q: Why did the blonde scale the glass wall?
A: To see what was on the other side.

Q: Why did the blonde want to become a veterinarian?
A: Because she loved children.

Q: Why did the blonde take her typewriter to the doctor ??
A: She thought it was pregnant because missed a period.

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Boat troubles

During late spring one year, a blonde was trying out her new boat. She was unable to have her boat perform, travel through water, or do any maneuvers whatsoever no matter how hard she tried.

After trying for over three days to make it work properly, she decided to seek help. She putted the boat over to the local marina in hopes that someone there could identify her problem.

Workers determined that everything from the engine to the outdrive was working perfectly on the topside of the boat. So, a puzzled marina employee jumped into the water to check underneath the boat for problems. Because he was laughing so hard, he came up choking on water and gasping for air. Under the boat, still strapped in place securely, was the trailer.

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