Three patients in a mental institution prepare for an examination given by the head psychiatrist. If the patients pass the exam, they will be free to leave the hospital. However, if they fail, the institution will detain them for seven years.The doctor takes the three patients to the top of a diving board overlooking an empty swimming pool, and asks the first patient to jump.The first patient jumps head first into the pool and breaks both arms.Then the second patient jumps and breaks both legs.The third patient looks over the side and refuses to jump. “Congratulations! You’re a free man. Just tell me why didn’t you jump?” asked the doctor.To which the third patient answered, “Well Doc, I can’t swim!”

best computer jokes · Clean Computer Jokes · Computer Jokes · Final Examination · funny computer jokes · short computer jokes

One night, a Delta twin-engine puddle jumper was flying somewhere above New Jersey. There were five people on board: the pilot, Michael Jordan, Bill Gates, The Dali Lama, and a hippie.

Suddenly, an illegal oxygen generator exploded loudly in the luggage compartment, and the passenger cabin began to fill with smoke. The cockpit door opened, and the pilot burst into the compartment. “Gentlemen,” he began, “I have good news and bad news. The bad news is that we’re about to crash in New Jersey. The good news is that there are four parachutes, and I have one of them!” With that, the pilot threw open the door and jumped from the plane.

Michael Jordan was on his feet in a flash. “Gentlemen,” he said, “I am the world’s greatest athlete. The world needs great athletes. I think the world’s greatest athlete should have a parachute!” With these words, he grabbed one of the remaining parachutes, and hurtled through the door and into the night.

Bill Gates rose and said, “Gentlemen, I am the world’s smartest man. The world needs smart men. I think the world’s smartest man should have parachute, too.” He grabbed one, and out he jumped.

The Dali Lama and the hippie looked at one another. Finally, the Dali Lama spoke. “My son,” he said, “I have lived a satisfying life and have known the bliss of True Enlightenment. You have your life ahead of you, you take a parachute, and I will go down with the plane.”

The hippie smiled slowly and said, “Hey, don’t worry, pop. The world’s smartest man just jumped out wearing my backpack.”

best computer jokes · BILL TAKES A PLANE RIDE · Clean Computer Jokes · Computer Jokes · funny computer jokes · short computer jokes

• Your bookmarks takes 15 minutes to scroll from top to bottom.

• You step out of your room and realize that your parents have moved and you don’t have a clue when it happened.

• All of your friends have an @ in their names.

• You’ve already visited all the links at Yahoo and you’re halfway through Excite.

• You check your mail. It says “no new messages.” So you check it again.

• Your phone bill is delivered in a box.

• You wake up at 3 a.m. to go to the bathroom and stop and check your e-mail on the way back to bed.

• The last girl you picked up was only a jpeg.

• You forget what year it is.

• You begin to wonder how on earth your service provider is allowed to call 200 hours per month “unlimited.”

best computer jokes · Clean Computer Jokes · Computer Jokes · funny computer jokes · short computer jokes · YOU KNOW YOU'RE ADDICTED TO THE INTERNET WHEN...