1 A stoner stumbles out of a party, and starts to walk home.
One the way he bumps into a guy who is all bloody and mangled.
The guy limps up to the stoner and says “Call me an ambulance!”
The stoner looks at him for a second, smiles and says, “You’re an ambulance!”
2 Two stoners were sitting around smoking a bong. All of a sudden, there was a knock at the door.
About half an hour later, the first stoner said, “Did you hear someone knocking, man?”
Another half hour went by, and the second stoner said, “yeah, man, I heard someone knocking.”
Half an hour later, the first stoner said, “Do you think we should answer the door, man?”
After another half hour, the second stoner said, “Yeah, you should go answer the door.”
So, half an hour later, the first stoner got up and answered the door.
Forty-five minutes later, a third stoner said, “Man, you guys were fast.”
3 There were 3 stoners, an Italian, a Polock, and a German. The Italian opens his lunch and gets pizza so he says “if I get pizza again im jumpin off a bridge. So the next day he opens his lunch and gets pizza so he jumps off a bridge. Then, the Polock opens his lunch and gets spaghetti so he says “if I get spaghetti tommorow i’m jumpin off a bridge.” So the next day he opens his lunch and gets spaghetti so he jumps off a bridge. So then the German opens his lunch and gets chicken so he says “if I get chicken one more time im jumpin off a bridge too.” He opens his lunch the next day and he getss chicken so he jumps off a bridge. The next day all of their wives are at their funeral talking to each other and the Italain’s wife says “if i would’ve known i would’ve made him something else.” Then the German’s wife says “me too.” So then the Polock’s wife says “well I would’ve too but he packs his own lunch.”
You are a stoner if….
1-If you want to hang out with snoop dogg because you know he has weed.
2-If you go to court high and thats why your there in the first place.
3-If you were out of bud so you look on the carpet to see if you dropped some.
4-If you think B-U-D stands for bud the ultimate drug.
5-if you remember someone that dosnt exict.
6-If your talkin about someone that you dont know.
7-If you were out of weed so you smoke the resin.
8-If you ask your boss for a weed break.
9-If you dont remember what a room lookes like whithout a cloud.
10-If everything you say ends with “I Dont fuckin Remember”
11-If you call your dealer and forget why.
12-If you were so high that you dont remember what a bong looks like.
13-If you lost your joint.
14-If you lost your pipe and smoke out of a can.
15-If you drop an egg on the ground and pick it up and put it in the pan because you forgot you dropped it.
16-If you never carry less than a dime on you.
17-If your friend in a lot of pain and you call the ambulance and they ask you whats wrong and you say “I Dont Remember”
18-If you only use visine for bloodshot eyes.
19-If you tape the news channle so that you can watch it later.
20-If your pick-up line is “do you have a joint”
21-If you ever tried to roll a pipe.
22-If you ever asked the judge “Do You Have Any Weed”
23-If you ever got lost in a bag of weed.
24-If you think i wont be comming back for more.
admin
13 Oct, 2005