At the police station, Bubba explained to the police officer why his cousins shot him.
“Well,” Bubba began, “We wuz havin’ a good time drinking, when my cousin Ray picked up his shotgun and said, ‘Hey, der ya fellows wanna go hunting?’”
“And then what happened?” the officer interrupted.
“From what I remember,” Bubba said, “I stood up and said, ‘Sure, I’m game.’”
Q. Did he pick the dog up by the ears?
A. No.
Q. What was he doing with the dog’s ears?
A. Picking them up in the air.
Q. Where was the dog at this time?
A. Attached to the ears.
Q: Why did the blonde scale the glass wall?
A: To see what was on the other side
Why do elephants have four feet?
Because six inches isn’t enough!
Two buddies Bob and Earl were two of the biggest baseball fans in America.
Their entire adult lives, Bob and Earl discussed baseball history in the winter, and they pored over every box score during the season. They went to 60 games a year. They even agreed that whoever died first would try to come back and tell the other if there was baseball in heaven.
One summer night, Bob passed away in his sleep after watching the Yankee victory earlier in the evening. He died happy. A few nights later, his buddy Earl awoke to the sound of Bob’s voice from beyond.
“Bob, Is that you?” Earl asked.
“Of course it me,” Bob replied.
“This is unbelievable!” Earl exclaimed. “So tell me, is there baseball in heaven?”
“Well, I have some good news and some bad news for you. Which do you want to hear first?”
“Tell me the good news first.”
“Well, the good news is that yes there is baseball in heaven, Earl.”
“Oh, that is wonderful! So what could possibly be the bad news?”
“You’re pitching tomorrow night.”
Attorney: Do you recall approximately the time that you examined the body of Mr.Edgington at the Rose Chapel?
Pathologist: It was in the evening. The autopsy started about 8:30 p.m.
Attorney: And Mr. Edgington was dead at the time, is that correct?
Pathologist: No, he was sitting on the table, wondering why I was doing an autopsy.
A blonde once got lost near a river. She traveled up and down it searching for a way to get to the other side.
She tried walking in the shallow part of the river, and she even tried grabbing onto a branch that stretched half way across the river to try to swing to the other side. No matter how hard she tried she couldn’t get across.
After many failed attempts, she finally felt like giving up. Yet, at the last moment, she saw a person walking by and decided to follow her–across the bridge.
Late one Friday in Dublin, a policeman spotted a man driving very erratically. He pulled the man over and asked him if he had been drinking that evening.
”Aye, so I have. ‘Ties Friday, you know, so me and the lads stopped by the pub where I had six or seven pints. And then there was something called ‘Happy Hour’ and they served these mar-gar-itos, which are quite good. I had four or five o’ those. Then I had to drive me friend Mike home and o’ course I had to go in for a couple of Guinness — couldn’t be rude, ye know. Then I stopped on the way home to get another bottle for later…” And the man fumbled around in his coat until he located his bottle of whiskey, which he held up for inspection. The officer sighed, and said, ”Sir, I’m afraid I’ll need you to step out of the car and take a breathalyzer test.”
”Why? Don’t ye believe me?”
What do you get when you cross a donkey with an onion?
A piece of ass that brings tears to your eyes!
sahil
31 May, 2008