Sports Jokes, Clean Funny Jokes
A man decided to buy a new telescope for his hunting rifle. He goes to a rifle shop and asks the clerk to show him a scope.
The clerk takes out a scope and says to the man, “This scope is so good, you can see my house all the way up on that hill.” The man takes a look through the scope and starts laughing.
“What’s so funny?” asks the clerk.
“I see a naked man and a naked woman running around in the house,” the man replies.
The clerk grabs the scope from the man and looks at his house. Then he hands two bullets to the man and says, “Here are two bullets, I’ll give you this scope for nothing if you take these two bullets, shoot my wife’s head off and shoot the guy’s pecker off.”
The man takes another look through the scope, and says, “You know what? I think I can do that with one shot!”
Q: What do John Elway, Art Modell, and O.J. Simpson all have in common?
A: They all killed the Browns!
Its the first game of the world cup, Brazil v scotland. Ronaldo says to his team mates ‘this should be easy, you lot go down the pub and i will play them on my own’. So all the others go down the pub and watch the game on the TV. After 3 minutes ..GOAL.. its Brazil 1 Scotland 0…Ronaldo 3min. They decide to switch off the TV and enjoy the drinking. After the game they switched back on to find the final score Brazil 1 Scotland 1. Ferguson had scored in the 89th minute. ‘Not too bad’ said the brazil team,’ he has done really well by himself’. 10 minutes later Ronaldo walked into the pub and started to apologise. ‘Not to worry you done really well by yourself’ ‘no no i really let u down’ Ronaldo said. ‘I got sent off after 12 minutes’.