3 hookers sitting in a bar the
1st one said i kan fit 2 fingers up my hole
the second said i kan fit 4 fingers up my hole
the 3rd one slider down the stool
admin
11 Oct, 2005
Oct
11
why dont you have sex on a strecher ?????
you might get carryd away
Oct
11
Mom:
Didn’t I tell you if any guy touches your boobs say “don’t” and if he touches your pussy say “stop”?
Daughter:
But mom, he touched both so I said “don’t stop”
Oct
11
A cucumber and a pickle are having a conversation and the pickle says to the cucumber, “You know my life really sucks. Whenever I get big, fat and juicy they sprinkle seasonings over me and stick me in a jar.”
So the cucumber says, “Yeah, you think that’s bad … whenever I get big, fat and juicy they slice me up and they put me over salad.”
So this penis is walking by and overhears their conversation and says, “You think that your life is tough? Whenever I get big, fat and juicy, they put a plastic bag over my head, stick me in a dark smelly room and make me do push ups until I throw up!”
Oct
11
Freddy and Wilam r laying in bad with Pebbles and Pebbles looks down and sees Freddy’s penis and says “Wuts that daddy” and Freddy says
“Thats my rock” and then Pebbles thinks for a little while and then looks down again and sees Wilma’s vagina and says “mommy whats that?” and Wilma says “Thats my rock grinder”
Pebbles thinks for a while and then says “Oooo i get i, so daddy puts his rock in momma’s rock grinder and out comes Pebble
Oct
11
Good: You’re pregnant.
Bad: It’s triplets.
Ugly: Your husband had a vasectomy five years ago.
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Good: Your husband is not talking to you.
Bad: He wants a divorce.
Ugly: He’s a lawyer.
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Good: Your son is finally maturing.
Bad: He’s involved with the woman next door.
Ugly: So are you.
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Good: Your son studies a lot in his room.
Bad: You find several pornographic movies hidden there.
Ugly: You’re in them.
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Good: Your husband understands fashion.
Bad: He’s a cross-dresser.
Ugly: He looks better than you.
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Good: You give “the birds and the bees” talk to your 14-year-old daughter.
Bad: She keeps interrupting.
Ugly: With corrections.
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Good: Your daughter got a new job.
Bad: As a hooker.
Ugly: Your co-workers are her best clients.
Way Ugly: She makes more money than you do!
Oct
11
Henry Ford dies and goes to heaven.
At the gates, Saint Peter tells Ford, “Well, you’ve been such a good guy and your invention of the car changed the world. As a reward, you can hang out with anyone you want in heaven.”
So Henry Ford thinks about it and says, “I want to hang out with Adam, the first man.”
So the guy at the gates points Adam out to Ford.
When Ford gets to Adam, Ford asks, “Hey aren’t you the inventor of woman?”
Adam says, “Yes.”
“Well,” says Ford, “You have some major design flaws in your invention:
1) There is too much front end protusion
2) It chatters at high speeds
3) The rear end wobbles too much
4) and the intake is too close to the exhaust.”
“Hmmmmm..” says Adam, “hold on”.
So Adam goes to the celestial computer, types in a few keystrokes, and waits for the results.
The computer prints out a slip of paper and Adam reads it.
He then says to Ford, “It may be that my invention is flawed, but according to the stellar computer, more men are riding my invention than yours.”
Oct
11
One day a man walked into a bar. Upon entering he saw a jar of money on the bar. He walked over to the bartender.
Oct
11
Q: What did one lesbian vampire say to the other lesbian vampire?
A: “I’ll see you next month.”
Oct
11
did you hear about the bloke who went to the sex shop and bought a palastinine blow up doll?
he took the fucking thing home and it blew its self up!
Oct
11