What did the baby chick say to his mummy when she laid an Orange?
” Look what Marma-Lade!! ”
admin
13 Oct, 2005
Oct
13
Q: Why isn’t gambling allowed in Africa?
A: Because of all the cheetahs.
Oct
13
Waiter! This coffee tastes like mud.
Yes sir, it’s fresh ground.
Oct
13
Two Boll Weevils grew up in South Carolina, one went to Hollywood
and became a famous actor while the other stayed behind in the
cotton fields and never amounted to much.
The second one, naturally, became known as the “lesser of two
weevils.”
Oct
13
A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories.
After about an hour, the hotel manager came out of his office and asked them to disperse. “But why?, they asked, as they moved off.
“Because,” he said, “I can’t stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer.”
Oct
13
A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named ‘Amal’ while the other goes to a family in Spain and is named ‘Juan’.
Years later Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Amal. Her husband responds…
“But they are twins and if you’ve seen Juan you’ve seen Amal.”
Oct
13
A Doctor made it his regular habit to stop at a bar for a hazelnut daiquiri on his way home. The bartender knew of his habit, and would always have the Doctors drink waiting for him at precisely 5:03 PM.
One afternoon, as the end of the workday approached, the bartender was dismayed to find that he was out of hazelnut extract. Thinking quickly, he threw together a daiquiri made with hickory nuts and set it on the bar.
The Doctor came in and took a sip of the drink and exclaimed, “This isn’t a hazelnut daiquiri!”
“No, I’m sorry,” replied the bartender…
“It’s a hickory daiquiri, Doc.”
Oct
13
Ted: Last night my computer died. Ned: What did it die of? Ted: A
terminal illness
Oct
13
Two pieces of string walk into a bar. The first one walks up to the bar and says, “Barkeep! Give me a beer!”
The bartender replies, “Well uh..aren’t you a piece of string?”
The piece of string answers, “Yeah!”
And the bartender says, “Well get out of here! We don’t serve your kind!”
So the first piece of string walks back towards the door.
The second piece of string says, “Hey wait, hold on a minute!”
“You’re not doing it right, watch this.”
He ties himself in a knot and frizzes out the top of his head. He walks up to the bar and says “Barkeep! Give me a beer!”
The barender said “Aren’t you a piece of string?”
The piece of strings replies, “Nope, I’m afraid not!”
Oct
13
What do you call 13 witches in a hot tub?
A self cleaning coven!
Oct
13