Kids Jokes, Clean Funny Jokes
1. If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound boy wearing pound puppy underwear and a superman cape.
2. It is strong enough, however, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20 by 20 foot room.
3. When you hear the toilet flush and the words, “Uh-oh,” it’s already too late.
4. Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.
5. A six year old can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36 year old man says they can only do it in the movies.
6. If you use a waterbed as home plate while wearing baseball shoes it does not leak – it explodes.
7. A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq foot house 4 inches deep.
8. LEGOS will pass through the digestive tract of a four year old….
9. Super glue is forever.
10. McGyver can teach us many things we don’t want to know.
11. No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you still can’t walk on water.
12. Pool filters do not like Jell-O.
13. VCR’s do not eject PB&J sandwiches even though TV commercials show they do.
14. Always look in the oven before you turn it on.{that durn hamster…}
15. The fire department in Roseville has at least a 5 minute response time.
16. The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earth worms dizzy..
17. It will however make cats dizzy.
18. Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.
There were two kids one was named mind ur bisness and the other one was named trouble and they were playing in the woods and trouble got lost so mind ur bisness went to the police station and told the officer wat happened the officer said ok wat is ur name the kid said mind ur bisness wat is ur name son and the kid said mind ur bisness and the officer said r u looking for “trouble” and the kid said yea were is he.
Sherlock Holmes & Watson go to a Rock Museum.
They walk around for a while when Watson notices that there is a rock that doesn’t have a display name.
“What kind of rock is that?” he asked Sherlock.
“Sedimentary, my dear Watson!”