Dirty Jokes, Clean Funny Jokes
14) You discover that “Chesty McBust” isn’t her real name, and she’s dialing in from Langley, VA.
13) You: Large, hairy man. Your online girlfriend: Large, hairy man.
12) Her postmaster rejects your e-mail not as “undeliverable” but as “unlikely to get you anywhere.”
11) After months of shared experiences and emotional investments, she attacks you in the Mines of Quarn with a Vorpal Sword when she learns you’re worth 45,000 points.
10) “Returned mail: User unknown and never wants to hear from you again.”
9) Your cyberlover is just too busy editing that silly little Top 5 List.
Getting perhaps a bit too comfortable, she lets a reference to cutting her chin shaving slip by.
7) You discover that she has been cutting and pasting her orgasms.
6) You can barely make out your SO’s face in the JPEG she sent because she’s obscured by her 25 cats.
5) He claims to be the richest man in the world, but his GIF looks like some geek who works for a software company.
4) Since her first e-mail, Make.Money.Fast!@cyber-promotions.com has become cold and distant.
3) She’s suddenly changed her address to comingout@lesbian.com
2) Ken Starr launches an investigation into your relationship with the mysterious “tubby@whitehouse.gov”
1) In an ironic twist of fate, you discover that the object of your affection is a curvaceous 18 year old, rather than the geeky 14 year old boy she’d pretended to be.
One day a dad came home from a long day of work and was on his way to his bedroom, when he overheard his son praying, He thought let’s see what he wants to say.. He hears his son say “Lord, Bless mommy, daddy, and grandpa. The dad was curious why he didnt say bless grandma. But he said oh well, maybe he just forgot. the next morning he woke up to see his sons grandmother… (his mother) dead. He said oh lord. Okay its just a coincidence…
So once again he comes home and goes by his sons room and once again he hears his son praying, Only this time he says “lord, bless mommy, and daddy.” The father is so scared that when he wakes up his father will be dead, He is like no, its okay.. So finally after hours he falls into a deep sleep. He wakes up to see his dad dead. He is so scared, But he carries on with his day. That night he stand out his sons door once more, to hear him say”Lord, bless mommy.”
The father is so scared that if he goes to sleep he wont wake up. But his eyes are heavy and he eventually falls asleep… He wakes up and he is perfectly fine.. He wondered what had gone wrong… So he got his suitcase and went to head out the door… And on his front porch the milkman lay on the ground… DEAD……
ONCE THERE WAS A CHINA MAN AND A BLACK MAN.
THEY WERE STANDING IN FRONT OF A LAKE.
THE CHINA MAN SKIPPED A ROCK ACROSS THE LAKE, AND THE ROCK MADE A SOUND………”CHING, CHANG, CHONG “. THE BLACK MAN WAS
AMAZED AT WHAT HE HEARD. THE CHINA MAN SAID,”THIS IS HOW I REMEMBER MY ANCESTRY. ie THE DYNASTY OF CHING,THE DYNASTY OF CHANG, AND THE DYNASTY OF CHONG”.
THE BLACK MAN WONDERED WHAT SOUND HE WOULD GET FROM
SKIPPING A ROCK ON THE LAKE………
SO HE DID AND THE SOUND HE GOT WAS “CHIMP, PANS, ZEE”…….