Funny Jokes | Clean, Funny, One Liner & Short Jokes

Oct/11

4

The Interview

A guy is interviewing a blonde for a job.

He asks her, “If you could have a conversation with anyone, alive or dead, who would it be?”

She replies, “The living one!”

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Oct/11

4

No Soap

A rather attractive woman goes up to the bar in a quiet rural pub somewhere in Idaho. She gestures alluringly to the barman who comes over immediately.

When he arrives, she seductively signals that he should bring his face close to hers. When he does so, she begins to gently caress his beard which is full and bushy.

“Are you the manager?” she asks, softly stroking his face with both hands. “Actually, no” he replies. “Can you get him for me – I need to speak to him?” she asks, running her hands up beyond his beard and into his hair. “I’m afraid I can’t” breathes the barman – clearly aroused. “Is there anything I can do?”

“Yes there is. I need you to give him a message” she continues huskily, popping a couple of fingers into his mouth and allowing him to suck them gently. “Tell him” she says “that there is no toilet paper or hand soap in the ladies room”.

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Oct/11

2

The Bottle Brunette

A young brunette goes into the doctor’s office and says that her body hurts wherever she touches it.

“Impossible,” says the doctor. “Show me.”

She takes her finger and pushes her elbow and screams in agony. She pushes her knee and screams, pushes her ankle and screams.

Everywhere she touches makes her scream.

The doctor says, “You’re not really a brunette, are you?”

She says “No, I’m really a blonde.

“I thought so,” he says. “You have a broken finger.”

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